WHY DO COUPLES GROW APART? 10 Biblical Principles that help you stay together

Drifting in Marriage

Text: Proverbs 4: 25-27


Good marriages are like a relaxing canoe ride when the winds are calm. You just have to be careful you don’t drift. Marriages often drift. There’s no obvious conflict or struggle, just subtle distractions that lull spouses asleep. Couples hardly notice they’re losing interest in one another until they end up somewhere they never intended to be.


It is not uncommon for married couples to grow apart over the course of their marriage, especially if they do not put any effort towards staying connected. It is not only one of the leading reasons why married people find themselves looking for marriage tips and advice, but also one of the leading causes of divorce.

Why do couples grow apart?

They get boredAll marriages have the potential to turn into a mundane habit or routine. This is because keeping a marriage exciting requires a great amount of effort.

They live separate lives
Spouses should spend between 8 and 15 hours a week together. This means that at the very least, every couple should have a little over an hour of alone time every day. Anything less and the couple will soon find themselves growing apart. 

Focus on work and children

This is especially true for couples who use their work, hobbies or kids as a way to escape their marriages. Spouses often have different ways of coping with stress. One person may be extremely emotional while the other is cold and business-like. Without the right mindset to work through their differences, couples will eventually become frustrated with each other’s behavior.

They become codependent
Codependency refers a situation where one spouse constantly makes sacrifices for the other spouse’s happiness without getting much in return. In these situations, one person over functions by worrying excessively and feeling responsible for the other, while the other under functions, eventually one gets tired of giving up their own needs to meet the needs of their partner, the couple inevitably drifts apart.

Solutions

Be deliberate about your marriage and make conscious efforts to make it exciting. 

Do not neglect prayer and quiet time together

Invest your time and resources 

Find ways to stay connected always

Pray to understand your spouse

Always be available for your spouse

Discuss your day with each other

Be a shoulder to cry on

Be empathic

Remain relevant to your spouse

These may not take as much effort as you think, but will keep you and your partner together always. Marriage is not all about love, it requires careful, sincere and intentional effort.

Let your eyes look straight ahead. Fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the path for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Don't turn to the right or left...