Love and Authority; the Basic Steps to Godly Discipline

The foundation of successful parenting can be summed up in these two qualities:  Unconditional Love and honest authority

While you won’t express these qualities perfectly at all times, if you make them your goal each day, you can expect that God will help you work towards them. He’s promised that as you grow in your Christian walk, the fruit of the Holy Spirit will become more and more evident in your life (Gal. 5:22-23).

 Be encouraged that in God’s power, divine qualities such as love, patience, gentleness, and self-control are within your reach. Invite the Holy Spirit to inhabit your heart, mature you in Him, and give you the power to express these traits toward your family, especially,  in those times when you find it most difficult. 

When your children exhibit unwanted behavior, for instance, try to separate their actions from who they are. Seek to lovingly accept them, but all the time, making it clear their behavior is unacceptable. If you remind yourself your children are entrusted to you by God, then their behavior will not have the ability to sway you from loving them unconditionally. 

When you find yourself struggling, spend a few moments dwelling on your own flaws and mistakes. Then, remember God's unconditional and unmerited acceptance upon your own life. This line of thought will bring humility to your heart and enable you to be more loving and accepting of your children in every circumstance.

The Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastises every son whom he receives 

Hebrews 12:6, ESV

In your walk with God, He must have had to  steer you with a hand that may have felt painful and unfair at one time or the other, just as your discipline of your children will at times feel painful and unfair to them. In these situations, try to be compassionate with your children in their hurt and anger without relenting in the discipline that you know is best for them. 

Ask God to help you express your authority fairly and honestly. Fair authority is wise and provides justice for everyone involved, not just one’s own children. Honest authority is transparent; it makes clear which rules have been broken and why the discipline is needed.

Unconditional love and honest authority  will help your children to feel safe, cared for, and cherished. With constant encouragement, despite their failures, anger under discipline will diminish, and their love and respect for you will grow. 

As you support and nurture them in all their efforts at life, they will gain confidence and advance steadily. Unconditional love will allow an irreplaceable peace to take root in their hearts and stay with them throughout life. when you provide them with fair and clear authority, informed by godly wisdom, they will learn to embrace the paths of righteousness, avoid the pitfalls, and grow strong in the ways of the Lord.